still down and about in petaling jaya...(as opposed to 'down and out' in pj... though i feel like that some days...)

these days, my consoling companion comes in the form and shape of Kierkegaard's Either/Or(a slightly abridged version I borrowed from Kairos)...my LRT reading, if you like...

the following quote of Kierkegaard's summarizes the absurdity and a certain amount of 'existential' worry that creeps up on me from time to time...

Marry, and you will regret it. Do not marry, and you will also regret it. Marry or do not marry, you will regret it either way. Whether you marry or you do not marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the stupidities of the world, and you will regret it; weep over them, and you will also regret it. Laugh at the stupidities of the world or weep over them, you will regret it either way. Whether you laugh at the stupidities of the world or you weep over them, you will regret it either way. Trust a girl, and you will regret it. Do not trust her, and you will also regret it. Trust a girl or do not trust her, you will regret it either way. Whether you trust a girl or do not trust her, you will regret it either way. Hang yourself, and you will regret it. Do not hang yourself, and you will also regret it. Hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret it either way. Whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret it either way. This, gentlemen, is the sum of all practical wisdom.

either way, our lives must go on...however way we may choose to live it... e.m.cioran once said that it is the very possibility of suicide that keeps him from committing suicide...

the possibilities in life keeps me going, far more than it's certainties...for the moment, at least i could get some 'comic relief' from good old SK's Either/Or =] (as i leave this entry, i have a stupid smile on my face...you know, the kind of Kevin Spacey "I couldn't care less about what you think..." smile, that we saw in his characters in American Beauty and K-Pax... and i don't mean i am even half as good-looking as he is).

ps. my grandma is recovering well...thank you all for your prayers and concern...
most of all, thank god she's still a living, breathing buddhist...