a promise to keep...

here comes the splash!!! been meaning to blog for some time, but never got down to it.... it's terrific to be back in good ole' ipoh, very much my own "shire"...clean air, delicious food, beautiful green hills...(haven't seen many of the renowned 'pretty ipoh girls' around...my guy friends keep telling me that that's a fact...still to be empirically proven, in my opinion :)

i promised to keep a blog, so i could keep in touch with friends overseas... i'm absolutely crap in writing emails. so here goes my humble attempt... of course this could very well be evidence of the narcissism i so want to express... heck... life is so short. been really confused recently, with my job-hunt and all... existential angst seem to be hovering over me more heavily these days... i was so scared that i would die in a car crash or something.. i remember not being able to sleep the nite before i had to travel to kuala lumpur for some friends' wedding.

it's not that i am afraid of the after-life... for me at the moment, there is just no concept of pearly gates or a fiery inferno waiting for me when i die... what if it's just absolute solitude, where nothing happens? isn't that a scarier prospect? the despair for me, if i would die today, is the question of whether i had been of some good to people around me... then again, i'm absolutely grateful for every day that comes, having met the people i did meet, listened to music that made me cry because i can't believe it could be this beautiful...so outrageously pleasureable!!! how can i get enough of you, my life, both my blessing and my curse...d*** it!!!

maybe in aporia falls, i can begin to let some of my regrets be washed away, where silence is all i've got to be here with me... i wait...